


Trouble Sleeping

by BadPandaBear



Category: Original Work
Genre: Camping, Eventual Smut, F/M, Reminiscing, Slow Burn, Swimming, Talking, Teasing, What Could Have Been, adults and their problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 18:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7065757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadPandaBear/pseuds/BadPandaBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Does that mean we're going to war or that you love me?"</p>
<p>"Loving you has alway been the war. I think it's about time the victors gets the spoils." </p>
<p>A Woman takes a trip with her family and gets cought up in the past. But the past isn't so far away that it can't pull her in the water and make her rethink a few things. </p>
<p>~ I intend for this to be part one of a group of works that are to be much higher rated. Could be looked at as a kind of prequel and not needed to read for the others to make scene but I liked the idea of setting it up this way first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble Sleeping

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone with a very small screen and tried to catch any errors with a quick reread, if you come across a few, sorry.

A Woman sat in a rocking chair on the porch of a log cabin, the light from the small table top lamp on the other side of the window the only thing illuminating the book she held in her hands. Her husband coma out to wish her a goodnight to let her know he was going to bed. After years of marriage he was accustomed to her sleep pattern, or lack there of. Early on in there relationship he had asked her to see a doctor about getting something help. She had been given medication after medication, the better ones made her sleep seventeen hours or more, as the others gave her terrible mood swings.

After explaining to her husband and doctors that even though she only slept three hours (four if she was lucky) a night she wasn't tired and it didn't put her in foul moods and that she would rather continue this way then be on the meds they agreed it was for the best and let her be. So most night he found her sitting outside reading, at home it was her comfy chair and her e-reader most nights. Since they were in the woods on a family trip she decided to go the rustic way of paper and ink. No worrying about battier life or service and she could get reacquainted with some of her old favorites.

The trip was an extended family reunion of sorts, her in laws and a few of her husbands aunts and some of there children and there grandchildren. Her side was her mother, sister, brother in law and one of her uncles and his family, wife and three step sons. The woman was actually very surprised that her uncle wife had come at all. To put it nicely, she was high maintenance. Although the Woman liked to call her Evil, a play on her name, which fit to a T if you asked anyone.

The Woman did like her step cousins, they had grown up together and spent many years in the woods with her mother and uncle camping and fishing and exploring all they could. In later years this would be what she always looked back on as the best times of her life. The simply joys of being children and the feeling one gets at a new discovery, having no worries of what others thought about her doing what she was.

It's a fact of life that one needs to put away childish dreams in order to grow up, but what if your childish dreams aren't so childish when you grow up? What if what you longed for as a child was something only the adults were supposed to be dreaming of? It's harder to put those dreams behind you when it's still a possibility. But the Woman tried. She really did, she married Mr. Right, had two children, even the minivan with 'My Child is on the Honor Role at such an so school' stickers for soccer games an car pools. It was suppose to be the dream life but it wasn't her dream.

No, the Woman's dream was something else completely. She loved she husband and her children but she longed for something they couldn't give her and she wasn't didn't think they would even understand. Her children were teens now themselves and she had thought about telling her husband many times but never seemed to fined the right words.

As she sat in the rocking chair her book seemed to disappear as she looked at it, the words had no meaning and she couldn't focus enough to try to bring meaning back to them. Slowly she stood and placed her book in the chair, deciding to go for a walk to clear her head. The air was almost sweltering and the moon almost full so she had no trouble finding the path that would take her down to the lake. It was well past midnight by now and no one else seemed to be there.

She made her way to the end of the dock, taking off her shoes she sat down and let her feet sink into the cool water. Dragging them back and forth watching how the water rippled out into large rings only to disappear completely. It made her think about her life and how her actions or even lack of had effected her and others around her. Her life was a good one, probably far better then she deserved, she told herself. Had she gone down the path she truly felt was for her she couldn't say she would be sitting her now; she knew that wherever it would have taken her she would have been happy in the journey, however it went.

  
Eighteen years was a long time to regret but it wasn't a lifetime, not yet. She needed to tell someone, just one person. Maybe if she talked about it it would lift some of the longing. But who to tell? Her husband, who had loved her from the time she tripped right into his door? Her Doctor, who would probably try to have her see a therapist and give her more pills? A therapist, that was an idea, but would they really understand this type of problem?

As she was lost in her thoughts she didn't hear anyone coming till the thudding of shoes being dropping on the dock roused her. She looked up just in time to see someone running past her and jumping in the water. She sat gaping as the water rained down on her legs before the mystery figure popped to the surface and sent a full slash of water straight at her. She threw her hands up in front of her to block the spray as best she could which only gave the person the chance to grab her wrist and pull her forward into the cool water.

She had just enough awareness to take a breath before she was submerged and as her head came back up she gasped at the sudden cold. Her arms were free now so she could thread water and the person how'd pulled her in was laughing that deep laugh she had missed for years.

"You shit!" She yelled not quite able to hide her own amusement. "You might have wanted to go for a swim but I was fine with just my feet getting wet."

He swam backwards with his head resting on the water and his feet coming up to kick, which sent more water at her face before he spoke, " I'd been standing behind you for more then ten minutes, if you were fine you would have noticed and told me to 'fuck off and stop being a creep' like you used when you'd had enough of me staring"

He was right, she hadn't noticed but she wasn't going to let him know that. "Well maybe I was letting you make up for lost time?"

"We may not have seen each other in ten years but I still know you and I know when your not paying attention." He was looking at her now, that playful grin he didn't let anyone see but her but it didn't reach his eyes. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"As much as I love talking at you, your not a heart to heart type." She want trying to be mean but it was the truth, she would talk at him not to him. Or at least that's how it always felt. When they were younger she hadn't noticed and it didn't seem like a big deal till it was; and by then it was to late.

He stopped swimming away but he had put his head back so she couldn't see his face anymore. "I've always listened to you, It may not seem like it and I might not have said what I should have but I've always listened." He was quit and his voice sounded like he was in a thinking of a different time. "I know it's twenty years to late but I was listening."

They were both quit for sometime after that. She was floating on her back with him now, if anyone saw they would think she was star gazing but her thought were far beyond the stars. She thought about the paths she had earlier and about wanting to tell someone. Maybe this was a sign she needed to try talking to him.

"I want to tell you," she began softly, trying to to make sure the words she used wouldn't give away to much or be confused. "I don't think I'm as happy as I could be or couldn't have been." She paused, " I married to Mr. Right but he's not my Mr. Right,You know? I think I married him in hopes that it would be what I wanted one day. But now... It's not enough to hope it should be want I want. It's getting harder every minute to stay quit about the things I really want," 'need.' She finished to herself. She went quit again.

There heads were side by side now, feet in opposite directions. He spoke just as softly as she had asking the questions she didn't want to answer, even to herself, because the true would shatter the frail world she'd worked so had to keep. "Why keep it from him if he's,as you say 'Mr. Right'? Why not tell him and let him decide if it's something he wants to?"

She had turned to look at him as he was talking. He looked so sincere about everything. She thought about the years they had spent together as children and young adults, about all the things she had learned growing up and about all the things she thought she had given up to do that frowning up. Maybe he was right and it wasn't a matter of staying together always but about the timing. She love her children and her life had been good. She didn't regret marring who she did, just thought abut what her life would be like if she hadn't. She had never stopped to think about what if it could be both.

Her children were grown or very nearly there and her husband was a good man and would find someone to love him like she couldn't. She didn't think they would end on bad terms if she asked for a divorce. He would understand the part where she wasn't in love with him like she knew she should be and that she wanted him to be with someone that could give him what she couldn't. (It would only be a few months later till she found out what she couldn't give him she didn't even have, his new husband was lovely by the way.)

He turned to look at her as she was staring at him. He brought his hand up to stroke the back of her head and as he ran his fingers through her floating hair she got a grin of her own, "Stop being a creep." She said and pushed his head under the water before he could move or take a proper breath. Wisely she had swam out of arms reach before he came back up with a growl and sputtering water. "All's fair in love and war." She teased after he'd stopped coughing.

He gave her that wicked grin that was just for her again, "Does that mean we're going to war or that you love me?"

"Loving you has alway been the war. I think it's about time the victors gets the spoils." 

**Author's Note:**

> As you might have noticed I didn't uses names in this as I don't have any that felt right, if you have suggestions please let me know. 
> 
> What did you think, should I keep going with this? 
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and help me write.


End file.
